By: Dana
Summary: Five months in SR 1419 where Estella and Diamond become better acquainted.
Characters: Estella, Diamond; Freddy, Folco; other characters, both minor and major and original, are mentioned and involved as well
Pairings: Estella/Diamond
Rating: PG
Warnings: Pre-femslash and then femslash; past violence mentioned; angst
Author's Notes: This is the start of something that will prove to be very long. I was stuck, for a while, wondering how I might get my OT4-verse up and running - and then it hit me, I needed to write about Estella and Diamond in 1419, and once I had started on it the story (this story, anyhow) pretty much fell neatly into place. I will post this in two chapters, if only because I don't feel like posting all almost 10000 words of it in one go. The second chapter will go up tomorrow night.
Please forgive me for the somewhat pretentious title. (The series title is equally pretentious, I'm sure.)
My beta would like to remain anonymous. Still, I would like to thank her for all her hard work on my story. Thank you, my dear. ♥
Series Index: Roads Go On and Years Go By.
This story is, of course, related to my In a Sunless Year stories, as it occurs within the same time period. I will not include it on the series index for that, though, and will leave it at this mention here.
Disclaimer: The author makes no claim to owning the rights of anything to do with J.R.R. Tolkien or New Line Cinema. Any and all characters and situations that have been borrowed are for the author's personal use only, and for the entertainment of others.

          Afterlithe

She stumbles down the bank, clutching at her left arm. If she'd been in a fouler mood, she might have cursed the blood. 'You really are something,' Folco says when she stops, dropping down on her knees. 'I'm not quite sure what that something is, but you are, in fact, something.'

Estella scowls at Folco, then looks at her arm. She winces, then bites at her lip, drawing bloody fingers back.

'Well, that looks worse off than it is, I'm sure.'

'Let me have a look,' Folco says, though in no way asking for her permission. She nods and drops her hand and lets him have a better look at it. She winces again and could have cursed at him, but doesn't – if . 'Really, Stel,' he says, with a matter of fact tsk. 'You're going to give poor old Freddy fits.'

But there's concern in his voice, too.

'He knows it's for the best,' she says, wincing again as he cleans the cut gently enough. But it stings. A rip of fabric, and Estella looks at him, frowns. Folco shrugs, and uses the bit of torn cloth as bandage, binding the long cut on her arm. She pulls her arm back, doesn't let herself be tired even though she knows she really is very tired. Oh, she hasn't the time for that. 'I've been of help. You know that, and I know it, and dear Freddy knows it too.'

He sits back, then. 'What were you aiming for? Were you hoping he'd cut off your arm?' Folco really is too good at saying what needs to be said. 'This isn't the first you've got yourself hurt, either. You'll drive him to madness with all your recklessness, Stel.'

'You don't know my brother,' she says, feeling more tired than she had just a moment before. It's true it's not the first time she's gone and got herself hurt. But there is a greater good at risk, and she wants to be a part of all that.

Folco does know Freddy, near as well as she does. He looks back at her, and she shrugs her good arm then turns and looks back through the green in the general direction of the road. There is the stamp of hooves and they both press back under cover, and when that clears neither of them move. Freddy pops up in an unexpected fashion, and Estella thankfully enough doesn't shout. She settles back and nods at her brother, and he looks back at her, grim.

'Enough is enough, Estella,' he says. 'If you're so set on getting yourself cut to ribbons, I'll have to send you home. I can't risk – '

Too much good at risk and she wants to be a part of that, and the tone of Estella's voice is defensive in her reply. 'That's it!' she exclaims. 'You've gone and cracked. You'd been there at the edge of it and for so long, I hadn't thought that you'd be pushed full off. You can't mean that, brother. You don't mean it, do you?'

The thicket they are hiding in is dark and green, with little like breaks of light coming in through the canopy above. There are speckles of sunlight in Freddy's hair, and Estella scowls at him and wants to tell him off, wants him to know that he really has no say in all this. 'If you send me away, I'll just follow you again. It wasn't that hard the first time, you know, and I'll do it again.'

'Then I'll do it again. Estella. Stella.' He takes hold of her hands, and Estella thinks to herself she really does need to clean that blood. Folco seems to think that, too, nods at them both and says he'll be right back, he's just off to fill his little water bottle in the nearby stream.

'I don't know what I'd do if you hurt yourself again. Or what I'd tell our parents, if you didn't come home.'

'I'm hardly your responsibility,' she snaps, but regrets that right away. 'Oh, stop looking at me like that. I never could say no to those eyes.'

'Oh, you could, Stella. But I think you know I'm right, or at least you know that I won't stand down. I would die if you died, silly dear.'

She wants to be cross at him, would shout, but knows that would only be reckless – and not at all smart. 'Freddy, please – ' Estella grins, but Freddy isn't grinning back. In fact, he looks rather grim and she can't say she's used to that, her dear brother Freddy who's always been quite jolly, looking grim. She pushes at her dirty hair, and smiles at him, and reaches out with her good arm, and touches his cheek with the flat of her palm. 'It's just a bit of blood, Freddy. I hurt myself worse that time when I was twelve and fell off Da's pony, Thunder. And you can't tell me you've not been cut up worse or even had holes stuck in you. It could have been worse, but his aim was off and I got away with a bit of a cut. Oh, it'll scar, but I've had worse than that.'

And Freddy's expression doesn't fade, and she winces, turns to look at Folco at the sound of his approach. Folco grins and shrugs at her, crouches down and offers her his water bottle. She takes it, then looks at Freddy, who hasn't budged.

'He's overreacting, I think, but I can't say I'm surprised at that, Stel. I might have done the same, if it was my Ruby in your position. But you should know how we older brothers can get.'

Positively overbearing, that's what Freddy is. Estella tries to smile but winces unhappily instead. 'You're right. He is overreacting.' She leans against him, and puts the hand of her good arm on Folco's shoulder. 'Folco, tell my dear brother that he is overreacting, and that there's no need of him to, especially, there's no need for him to send me home. No need for him to send me away and into hiding.'

'She sounds a bit delirious, I think.' Freddy must have planned this, having Folco on his side. Estella pulls away from him, scowls at him and then at Freddy, wishing they knew how hopeless this was, how helpless she felt. Freddy couldn't send her away. She would come back.

'I'm not delirious,' she says. 'I'm merely concerned and no wonder.'

'Concerned over what?' Freddy asks.

She lets out her breath, shakes her head slightly and then grins. 'Finally. I'd thought you weren't speaking to me.'

'Estella – ' But she cuts Freddy off.

'You have put up with a lot, I know, me following after you and thinking I could hide away, and in lad's clothes at the time. I can't say I was as convincing a lad as I might have been, but... But you need me, Freddy, for all you've not thought or stopped to admit it, and if you send me away...'

She wonders if she can put it into words. 'What will you do without me? If I'm not here, what will you do?'

Maybe Freddy does know, understands how she feels for all he doesn't seem to care. 'I'll manage, I'm sure. I'll not worry has as much as I have been, and maybe you'll see that this isn't your place.'

The sting of tears, but she doesn't let it out, doesn't weep. 'But you don't know. Folco will keep an eye on you, I know he will and I couldn't trust a better hobbit to look after you, Freddy, but who will keep an eye on the both of you if I'm not around? It really is just a bit of blood, Freddy. When morning comes, you'll see that, and you'll see how you've been overreacting, too. I won't leave you, Freddy, won't let you send me away.'

'Stel. My very dear sister.' Her brother surprises her once more, catching her face up with his hands. He bends his forehead against hers, and he sighs, very deeply. 'No,' he says, sitting back. 'This isn't the first you've been hurt and if I was a better brother, I'd not have let that happen and I'd not have let it happen again. I will – '

'You can't send me home.'

'I...' He hesitated, biting at his lip – and then, strangely enough, he gave a sly smile. 'No, on second thought, I don't think I will. I can't send you home, they might think to look for you there, might track you there and bring our parents into this as well. No, but I've an idea still – we've cousins at Long Cleeve, and we're close enough as is. But what I need to know, is will you do this for me? You're so terribly stubborn, and I love you for it and knowing what you want, and I know you think I need the looking after. But I'd rather, this once, that you'd let me look after you.'

She wants to shout at him, wants to be cross, wants to tell him that she'll fade away and die if he sends her into hiding, that it will make her useless and lame. True enough, this isn't the first she's been hurt, and she knows that if she hadn't been half as lucky as she'd been, and this being more than just a nick, that Ruffian might have taken off her arm.

'It was a deep enough cut. And Folco here's not the only one who's good at binding up our hurts, but you know as well as I that a proper healer should have a look at that, Stella. Please. Could you do this one thing for me?'

She doesn't want this, doesn't want Freddy to lead her off to Long Cleeve and then to leave her there, finds herself wondering at if he'll even come back and that thought's more unbearable than even the thought of being left behind. And that seems too terrible a thing to contemplate, for all her brother is a different hobbit than he was even three months, no, three days ago. So she smiles at him, and hugs him with one arm, not thinking at the pain in her right arm, knowing that it did go deep.

'Very well. But make sure you let mum and da know what you're up to, if you're able. They're worried enough, I think, and if I won't be going on home then they'll be glad enough to see your own dear face.'

He does smile at that, and he hugs her, and Estella tells him that that is enough, really, there's no need to have her weep.

'Will you go, then? And if you go, will you stay?'

'I will, I will. But please don't make me promise more than that.'

He didn't make her promise more than that, and Estella's glad of that. They went the long way around, for all they had been close enough to Long Cleeve. There is a healer in the village, Hal Twofoot is his name, and they go to see him - he cuts the makeshift bandage off of Estella's arm and then hums underneath his breath as he applies a wet cloth that makes Estella's nose crinkle up. Whatever it is, it stings. 'Doesn't look as bad as it could have,' he says, and Estella wants to tell her brother that she'd known she'd be right about that. 'Still, it'll leave a nasty scar if you're unlucky enough.'

She can only laugh and say, 'It does seem I have bad enough luck.'

Freddy thanks Hal when he's finished with Estella – he slathered something wet and cool and slightly pungent smelling on the cut, then bandaged if up again, and for now it's as good as new. Then Freddy says, 'I'll meet with Folco when I head out. But you need to meet with Diamond before I go.'

Estella doesn't laugh this time, though she might have. 'Diamond? Is that why we're here, then? Have you been chasing after lasses, brother?'

Freddy grins at her. 'Now, Estella, it isn't that. Though, she does owe me a proper kiss, for all I played posthobbit for her and her brother earlier on. She is a cousin, of a distant connection, and I think that you'll like her well enough.'

And she thinks she will like Diamond, when they meet outside down at the bottom of the side stairs that lead to North Tunnel's back entrance. And not just because the lass is North-took fair, though maybe that be part of it. But Estella stands there at Freddy's side, the sky overhead dusted grey and gloomy, and Diamond smiles at her and seems bright as the sun. Bright, and lovely, and Estella feels awkward, dressed as she is and in need of a bath. But Freddy puts his hand on Estella's shoulder, nods at Diamond, and Estella feels her mouth move as she makes herself smile.

And Freddy says, 'Diamond, this is my Estella – do take care of her, won't you? I know I'm leaving her in good hands.'

Diamond smiles, kisses Freddy on the cheek, and nods and looks at Estella, looking perfectly sweet but with eyes steel-coloured blue-grey like the sky. 'You've my word, Fatty,' and Freddy grins at her.

He nods his head slightly. 'And you've my thanks.'

It happens abruptly, after that, Freddy's leaving – Estella hugs him and tells him to come back, makes him promise that he will, and she could have hung onto him to the end of all time but that still would have felt like too little. When he's gone, Diamond takes her left hand and then leads her up the broad, stony stairs, cut right into the face of the rock.

'I do hope you like it here at North Tunnels. Now, we'll get you settled in – I'm guessing you'd like a bath, and luncheon, at the very least.'

'At the very least,' Estella says, nods, turning and looking down at her brother before he ducks away and she loses sight of him, then. She'll not follow him, though her heart aches and her blood burns. But she smiles at Diamond, then, who smiles back at her. Diamond lets loose the hold on Estella's hand, and pushes the side door open and then beckons Estella to follow. Estella does.

A bath, and clothing that fit (Diamond says, there's nothing at all wrong with wearing trousers, but it probably is better off that she not wear so much dirt), and Estella is warm and content though not as content as she could be. 'You're kin of my Aunt Emerald,' Diamond says, and Estella nods. Rudigar Bolger, Estella's father's younger brother, had married Emerald North-took in 1378. He's lived at Long Cleeve since then, though he and Emerald and the lasses often visit Budgeford in the spring.

'She's my Aunt Emerald as well,' Estella says, wonders if she sounds as distant as she feels, but perhaps she doesn't, not with how Diamond grins.

'First cousins by marriage, then. And sixth cousins, besides that.'

Estella smiles. 'Oh, you are a charmer,' she says, and Diamond shrugs slightly, then laughs.

'Hurry on, then. I'll show you about North Tunnels. Take you to see Aunt Ema and Uncle Rudi, as well, and then we'll settle down for afternoon tea.'

Estella does like the sound of that, and decides she'll make the best of all this. 'Lead on then, Mistress North-took.'

Diamond does.

          Wedmath

On her first visit (a very long time ago), Estella had thought the library at North Tunnels rather familiar, and rather large, and though it didn't quite match the grandeur of the library at Brandy Hall (or that of the Master's private library), or the one at Great Smials; but still, it was a fine room, and of all the rooms at North Tunnels, it was at the very top of the smials and one of the only rooms with windows that faced south. Yes, on her first visit she had found the place familiar, though she couldn't recall ever having being there before; and after that, she went there more often. She'd always been fond of books, though she found her father's own collection rather paltry. But here at North Tunnels, she didn't just find a room a books, but a room of books with a number of stories she had never read. Freddy had left here there two weeks prior, and where he was now, Estella couldn't tell. She spent more time in the library than she did in any other room, lounging in one of the overstuffed chairs by the south windows. And often, Diamond would sit with her, sometimes telling Estella stories of her own, and at other times, listening to Estella as she read from some grand tome.

It seems like ages, now, since Freddy left her here, since he went away. Estella is healing up, and nicely. She was right, and the gash is pink but mending, but Estella had known that it would scar. She went to Hal once more after that, to pick up more of the faintly pungent salve. He was glad to hand it over. Told her that he and Freddy were friends.

Oh, Freddy.

Estella doesn't think that she should like it here, and she doesn't appreciate Freddy thinking that she needed to be left behind. Faragrand North-took and Mistress Beryl have been very good hosts, though she's spent enough time with her Aunt Ema and Uncle Rudi as well, just as to not impose as she might – but still, she's glad of the welcome she's been given, and Diamond especially has made her feel welcome. Still, for all that, Estella doesn't think that any of it is right: her sitting in an overly comfortable chair, and her brother out facing fear and peril and her not able to do a thing to help. Knowing Freddy, he'd get himself hurt or something else, and she'd not be there to look after him, and then –

Diamond says her name. 'Estella. Please.'

Estella rouses from her thoughts, blinking and then looking to Diamond, where she is leaning forward in her chair. 'Oh. It seems that I was miles and miles away. So sorry, Diamond.' Estella smiles faintly, shuts the book and then rubs at her eyes. She's apologized, but Diamond doesn't seem to mind, and maybe it's just that she understands.

'There's no need for that. To apologize, that is. Though, I'd lie if I told you I'd not been concerned.'

But Estella is finished reading for the day, a dull throbbing at her temple and behind her eyes. She feels that she is idle, when she'd been keeping herself busy enough before. Diamond says, well, we both have spent too much time inside, so Diamond rises up and takes Estella by the hand, grinning at her in a rather no-nonsense fashion. Estella rises, and follows after, leaving the book on her chair and following Diamond from the room. The library is at the south of the smials, and closest to Faragrand's study and the family quarters (that being, the rooms for Faragrand and his family), and they go north through long corridors, and then down the stairs, through the great hall and then through the lower sleeping quarters, almost all of them against the west wall. Then they take the river exit, Diamond nodding at the doorhobbit standing in attendance, who smiles back at them and with a bob of his head, pushes the door open. Sunlight flows in, pooling at their feet, and they walk out into the cooling summer air, down the broad stone stairs to the stables down below. And what a flight of stairs – the hobbits at Long Cleeve certainly don't seem to have any problems where it comes to great heights.

Diamond really has put herself out, making Estella feel at home. Estella knows that she should be with Freddy, feels that at almost every moment, and has fitful nights where she's woke, and paced her guestroom, thinking that she might dress and take her pony from the stables, and ride south to the Brockenbores and find her brother, once again, and tell him that it's no good leaving her behind, as she always will find him. Merry might have got away, and where he is, Estella won't ever know (unless, that is, he happens to come back). But Freddy is still bound to the Shire, bound to this earth. There's no place he can go that she can't follow. After all, blood follows blood.

Diamond must be reading her mind, and she says, 'More than fresh air, we need more than fresh air. Let's go for a ride.'

They're out in the sunlight, now, late afternoon, and the side courtyard is mostly empty. They cut across to the south, to the stables, and Diamond's hand is still at Estella's wrist. Down a slope, the Rushy Water rushes by in a hurry, the banks of the river very narrow with the village straddling it at both sides. The face of the bluff behind them, up far enough, is the north face of North Tunnels – with its bright round windows, looking out cheerfully, though the times haven't been as cheerful as all that. Across the river, the northern rise of the bluff is home to scores of other hobbits, as well as those who live in unhobbity above ground houses in between. And Diamond smiles at the stablehobbit, who brings out her mare, all saddled up. Briar, that's her name, and Diamond presses her cheek to the pony's muzzle, stroking the soft nose. Estella hadn't ever thought her one for riding, though she doesn't know why. She feels she could have known Diamond better, but hardly knows her at all. Estella bids the stablehobbit bring her own pony, on loan to her for the duration of her stay, and he goes to do so, and Diamond smiles at her, and lets loose her hand.

Diamond hitches up her skirts a bit before she mounts, the pale curls on her feet catching Estella's attention for a long moment before she turns away. Yes, Diamond really has been putting herself out, making Estella feel at home. There are things that make Diamond sad, sad in a way that Estella doesn't think right, and she doesn't think that she can move the world, or even follow after her brother as she'd like, but she should be able to take Diamond's sorrow away. Estella's told Diamond a number of things that she wouldn't tell anyone else, about Freddy and Folco, too, and about Merry, who up and went away. Told her more than that, about her hopes and dreams and what she most wants.

Estella is good at holding on, if only because the lads in her life have been so good at going away. But Diamond doesn't seem set on leaving. And if she did leave, she'd want Estella close by.

Estella leads her pony out, mounting once they reach the courtyard. There are some Tooks at Great Smials who don't think it proper for a lass to sit astride a pony's back as if they were lads, but Estella looks at Diamond and sees that Diamond mustn't care for that sort of thinking, and not at all. Anyhow, Estella hadn't ever been good at sitting sidesaddle – just like she's never been very good at acting proper. That was good enough for her, when she ended up with a short sword in her hand.

And sorrow, sorrow in the air, not so palpable as fear and the risk of being found, but sorrow nonetheless, and with the air as still as it is, Estella can feel it sitting heavy in her nose. Heavy, stagnant, and she thinks that, for all the North-tooks and the others that call the smials at Long Cleeve home, there really should be more joy about. No matter what might happen to the south, no matter that Lotho has got too big for his trousers, and there's still work that needs be doing, he's not made a mess here. He still needs to be shown that he's not the boss of them all. Well, Estella had done what she could, cutting off her hair and dressing like a lad, hunting her brother down if only because she knew how he thought, and better than he did.

Maybe it's not that he's not gone and made a mess here, maybe it's just she can't see the trouble that's been done.

So they go riding, matching an easy canter, and Estella hadn't ever thought Diamond much for riding, but her pale hair gets caught up in the breeze as they race, race for whatever and what ending, and Estella finds that she must push her own pony to catch up, as Diamond's pony gallops, gallops to the wind. 'We are very good riders, we North-tooks', Diamond says, with laughter in eyes blue-grey like the evening sky. But that's after, as they ride back, again at a canter.

And Estella thinks of Merry, and how she always thought that there was pony in his blood, more than any other Brandybuck. 'I see that,' Estella says. 'And I say, I hadn't thought it in you.'

Diamond grins, secretly, but then she looks away. There's something sad about her, in her eyes, something that must make her think too much and act too little. 'My brother Tolly – well, it really isn't right, to talk about him when he's not around.'

But Estella presses, thinks of Freddy, and Diamond tells her all about Tolly, how he never did have sense enough for his head, and when he felt that they had been robbed, he ended up going after the thieves. She knew his name, of course, had met him before, and the only thing that Estella can recall about him is that he and Diamond have the same eyes. Diamond goes on. In the spring, when things had been bad but hadn't seem so terrible, when it felt as if the world had woken up anew, when Freddy and his band had ended up hiding out at the far north of the Northfarthing, Freddy had made Diamond's acquaintance, and Freddy had acted as if he was a hobbit in the post, passing a letter on to Diamond, written in Tolly's narrow hand.

She doesn't ask about that letter, though she could. But Diamond looks at her, must know what she's thinking. 'We haven't had much trouble, but we have had trouble. There were riders at Yule, tall Men with grim faces and they'd demanded a share of our stores. My father hadn't wanted to put our folk in danger, hadn't stood up to them and that left my eldest brother, well, more angry than I've ever seen before. He... he rode off, some time after that in the early spring, having got it in his mind that he would follow them south. We'd had no proper word in ages, it seemed, and he only wanted to know if those Men were still about.'

'Diamond...'

'He's not come back. And we only had that one letter, that your brother delivered himself.'

'He'll come home, then.'

'Oh, he might and he might not,' and it isn't that Diamond seems unconcerned, only that she's worried too much – Estella can tell. 'I'd have gone after him, you know, but I'd been needed at home – mother was sick with worry, and father half out of his mind from the same. It's been months now, and we've all carried our responsibilities well. But our Tolly's still gone. So, it's possible yet that he'll come home.'

Tolly's been gone since spring, and Diamond never went after him. Estella followed after Freddy as soon as she could, had more than likely given both her parents fits. She'd only done what she could – and Freddy had needed her to follow. Her parents were safe, after all – holed up at Great Smials as they were, they were at less risk than she or Freddy had ever been.

'Thank you. For telling me, that is. Perhaps we were meant to meet again, Diamond. It has been a very long time.'

And Diamond smiles at her, then whistles to Briar, who gallops for a bit. Not wanting to be left behind, Estella whistles to her own pony and follows after like the wind.

That's just their first ride. One day, they go as far south as Bindbale Wood, with Diamond following after Estella; and on another, they go north and east to Greenfields; and then another, all the way to Oatbarton.

No, it doesn't help, with Estella feeling that she's sitting idle but at least she's sitting idle with good company. But she wonders, at times, that if she did go off riding for her brother, if Diamond would follow behind. She doesn't ever say what she feels, one way or the other, and for all their rides they don't ever tell Diamond's parents where they've been. Still, if she did, she wouldn't mind if Diamond came along.

End Notes: The Shire Calendar by dreamflower02.

chapter two