SR 1423

'Pippin and Merry, well, they both think it right: that I should marry a Brandybuck, for I should have been one, all along.' Pervinca grins, then reaches for Alyssum's hand: her mouth is warm, as she sets a kiss at Alyssum's wrist, and then another, higher up than that. 'What I think, though, is that I missed you, and you a proper River- bound lass.' At that, Pervinca grins. 'And here you are, and me the one who's wed-proper, and you the one who plans to run away.'

For all she means to say, it is not, 'I mean to find myself, if I am able.' Alyssum remembers gold-warm nights, tangled at Great Smials, looking at the great maps, stories read from the great books. 'I want to see Annúminas, and perhaps even the cities of the south. To look at them. To see that they are true.'

'And?' Pervinca kisses her, once more, another soft kiss, but this time at her chin. Alyssum is happy to have her here, for she missed Pervinca, and she has not visited of late, as often as she might have once before – but, from the ending of one dark year, through the light after, she has spent her time at Great Smials, writing sometimes and visiting, or having Alyssum visit her, though not so often as might have been liked.

But it was needed, and Alyssum thinks of Merimas, whom Pervinca'd married, just in the spring of the year before: but they'd lived together and learned each other, their stories and their selves for some years now, far off at Great Smials.

Alyssum feels she must be growing, that she must be a better hobbit and perhaps for Pervinca's being in her life: but it doesn't make her so jealous, or jealous at all, as it might have, once.

Yes, a turn for the better, that.

'Oh, I don't know. I wouldn't wish to break his heart, though I think it harder to harm than mine ever was: he knows I plan on going, and I think he knows I plan on coming back.'

'So you will? You'll ride off, without proper escort, and ride wild beyond the Bounds? You'll see Annúminas, for yourself, and perhaps you'll even dine in the company of a King or Queen.' Then Pervinca's mouth found Alyssum's, and Alyssum groans as Pervinca kisses her with thorough precision. 'I have become quite fond of you, Sweet Alyssum. I would run away, too, but I've found myself, I think. And I would not cause Mim such harm, for all I would give him all love in the world.'

'Vinca–'

Another kiss, to quiet her, and it does – senses melted in the darkness at the edges of her vision. A hand presses up against her thigh, catches in the cloth of her dress, gives a tug – and Alyssum reaches for that hand, catches it, and fingers twine, tangle full. 'If your heart tells you so, then you ought go, and see what you may see – but come back, Alyssum, come back to me, and Mim, and your Beric, too: his heart is not so unbreakable as you might think it is. And we will find some happiness together, and our children will be great friends, and I...' And Alyssum kisses her, and Pervinca allows it, pushes up her skirt, skin beneath her hand. Alyssum gives a pleasant wiggle, and winds one arm about Pervinca: Pervinca, whom she loves with one half of her healing heart, the other half having been given to Berilac Brandybuck: Pervinca, whom Alyssum had always thought would be the one, of any hobbit lass who meant to, to be the one to run away.

No, she hadn't thought herself capable, not when a broken heart mends, when love is found in unexpected places, and unexpected hobbits – for Berilac had needed her, just as Merimas had needed Pervinca. Alyssum only hopes that Berilac will be able to wait on her, just a year or two more.

It doesn't go much further than that, hot kisses and a bit of warm touch. Then Pervinca smiles, kiss-bright lips, and sweet as dripping honey, and she bids Alyssum rise. Once she is able, she does, and Pervinca threads one arm about Alyssum's, and leads her off. To Mim, and Beric, with plans on having supper and afters: and promises, for after that, and for all the days that Alyssum might think to imagine, off to the far ending of their years.

'Tell me, Berilac,' Folco says, 'is there a problem, in her going?'

Berilac hesitates, stops, then turns, and shakes his head, come to the end of that thought. 'No, none that I can reckon. She plans on running off, but we have plans as well to wed. And I... I have given thought to the gossip or the scandal, but I find I don't really care. If she goes off, I know she'll return.'

'Still.' Folco levels his gaze at him, then gives a cheery, thoughtful grin. 'If there's no problem, Beric, then tell me, what's the problem?'

Berilac snorts, laughing, shakes his head once more, then pushes one hand back into his hair. 'I can't keep her bound, or in a cage. If she wants to fly, then I will let her fly free.'

'But?'

Berilac snorts, laughing, once more. 'You knew there was a but. And, well...' He shakes his head, and shrugs. He can't put it to words, or at least it doesn't seem so easily put to words. 'It isn't that I fear her running off, and never coming back... it isn't that I think she oughtn't do it, for I want her to live free. And yet, still, but...'

Folco comes up to him – Folco, come from Budgeford, the world on his shoulders, or at least some small part of it, and the weight inherent. Then Folco puts his hands on Berilac's shoulders and Berilac, with a sigh, looks him eye to eye. 'I think I know what it is,' Folco says, after a moment in thought. 'In fact, I've felt it, at times, myself.'

'And what is that?'

'It isn't that you fear her leaving you, for you know she will return. But still, you were left behind once before, and you rather wouldn't let it happen again. How does that sound, then? Am I on, or am I cracked?'

Berilac sees it, suddenly, kisses Folco as he laughs at that realisation, and then kisses him again, afterwards, for he can. 'Ah, I hadn't thought it like that – but, now, put to words, it does seem as simple as just that.' Then Folco gives him a squeeze, and a laughing grin, and another kiss, before pinching his left (and lower) cheek.

'So then, Beric, what shall you do?'

'If she'll have me, I will keep her company. She mentioned she wished to see Annúminas. Perhaps I wouldn't mind seeing it, myself.'

'Well then, let her know – she'll be pleased I think, if given that chance.' Another kiss, for Folco must guess that Berilac will soon be gone a long while, so he better take chance as it is given. Folco, who knows well the feel of being the one left behind, for good or ill, who thinks too much, as a Brandybuck would, and Berilac knows him as Fatty's very best friend.

Berilac knows, though not like Folco must, living life for another, friend or cousin, for in the end, they are all blood by one connexion or another: when Merry went away, he was the one left behind. And after that dark year... Berilac knows, as an acquaintance might know, the outline of Fatty's pain, and not just for his time spent in the Lockholes. He knows of Rosemary, too.

And Folco, no doubt he bore the brunt of some other pain, himself. If it had been Berilac, himself, he thinks, he might have blamed himself, and blast reason. Now even, for all that he has talked with Merry, there is some small part of him that is convinced he ought to have been more observant, that he should have noticed. But, in another way of thinking, maybe he had noticed, him and his planning, had known it wasn't his place.

'I will,' he says, meaning he will give Alyssum that chance, and she might give him chance, as well. He would hate to lose her, if even for a small while, now that he has found her. He thinks of something said by Pippin, some long time before – no, Alyssum didn't well seem to be the type for marrying, but he loved her well, anyhow, and would love her, on and on.

Then he kisses Folco once more, thanks him, and remembers, before they go much further than that, that he's meant to have supper with Alyssum, and Pervinca, and Merimas – so, he invites Folco along, too, for surely there will be room.

And, of course, there is, and food enough, too.

Alyssum blinks, then nods, and Berilac finds her in his arms, and he gathers her up close. She kisses him, delighted, then says, as she laughs, 'see, now, I found myself unsettled – oh, I will have you, I will, and we will see all the great sites of the world. Or at least those few we might manage.'

Berilac is grinning, too, happy, and settled. 'Annúminas should busy us for now,' he says. 'And there's other roads, Alyssum – I can't think of one I wouldn't want to walk with you.'

She kisses him again, laughing, and so settles their talk.

Pervinca says, 'bring me back something, won't you?' and Alyssum grins, kisses her, and tells her that she will. 'And you, too, cousin Merimas,' she says, blushing a little, and helplessly. Merimas shakes his head, but must take his wife's antics with good enough cheer, for he is grinning, even as he rolls his eyes.

There is, of course, some planning left, for Alyssum had thought to simply run, but Berilac says, 'we'll have words with Merry, and see to a proper escort,' and Alyssum thinks, I haven't ever met a Ranger, but she now knows she will, and soon.

Pervinca, and Folco, aren't those left behind, but rather those waiting the return – a very different thing, Merimas says, and he laughs as he does, going on, and at least you aren't waiting on the King to come back! For the King has come back, he says, and that's something they might both take to heart. And Alyssum and Berilac will, too, with stories and more to share – and Pervinca, well, she never had her own grand adventure, but the small ones she managed will more than just do.

So she isn't sad, but rather hopeful, a far better thing.